Te voy a platicar de las 3 etapas cuando terminas una relación larga, esto lo escribí para los que acaban de terminar una relación y quieren saber que pueden esperar, también para los curiosos que no han vivido esta experiencia y quieren saber lo que se siente y también por si alguien que ya estuvo en esta situación siente nostalgia y tiene el deseo de revivir los sentimientos.
Algunas personas pueden sentir que 1 año es una relación larga, otras que llevan casadas 30 años pueden pensar que 10 años es poco, en verdad no importa que tan larga fue tu relación, porque cuando te entregas y amas de verdad, el dolor para la persona que lo siente es el mismo sin importar el tiempo que duró.
El comienzo
Todo comienza en el final, cuando tienes «la plática» y escuchas con incredulidad como sus labios pronuncian la frase -ya no quiero estar contigo- Justo en ese momento no importa que tan fuerte eres o quieras aparentar, tus lágrimas te delatan, tu voz se quiebra, sientes que el mundo se cae pedazo a pedazo, parece un sueño, algo que no puede estar pasando. No, jamás me haría esto si esta enamoradx de mí, si tenemos tantos planes juntos ¿así nomás sin siquiera intentarlo?
Sí, así nomás se termína una relación.
Las primeras noches son las más difíciles, no sé, pero algo tiene la noche que es especialmente cruel para los que tienen el corazón roto, mientras se adentra la madrugada más se asienta la soledad, el aire se llena de nostalgia e insomnio y se presta para llorar hasta que no queda ni una lágrima, es agotador pero necesario para poder dormir.
Soñar que estas con tu ex como si no hubieran terminado puede pasar, pero no entraré en detalles pues lo considero una broma vulgar e innecesaria de nuestro inconsciente.
Levantarse de la cama exige de mucha voluntad, hacerlo ya es un triunfo en sí y el día tiene momentos donde nos apartamos de los recuerdos y logramos por momentos concentrarnos en otras cosas de la vida diaria.
También podemos fracasar en el intento y quedarnos todo el día en cama, uno que otro día no está mal, puede ser terapéutico, supongo. Repetirlo varios días seguidos puede no ser la mejor idea.
Durante los primero días la vida tiene un gusto diferente, se ve distinta, tiene como un filtro que obscurece todo. A veces la esperanza de un mensaje o llamada nos mantiene de pie, otras veces la rutina y de vez en cuando no sabemos ni por que.
Que ridiculez que por una persona que te abandonó estés así, no lo merece, es una tontería y estas perdiendo tu tiempo; suelen ser las palabras de las personas que nos quieren pero nunca han tenido que juntar su corazón por piezas, mientras los más experimentados en el tema, saben que poco se logra regañando y más se ayuda escuchando y compartiendo consejos de vez en cuando. Sí, es ridículo sufrir por alguien que no lo merece, lo sé, pero es lo que es y así es.
En esta etapa parece que no hay esperanza y escribo este texto para decirte que sí la hay, aunque en este momento no lo sientas, recuerda que ni la peor tormenta dura para siempre.
A medio camino
El inicio de esta experiencia te lleva a tocar fondo y te mantiene ahí durante un tiempo, es como caer en una alberca profunda, mientras más luchas y te desesperas más te hundes, pero cuando te calmas y dejas fluir, sólo hay una dirección para ir, hacia arriba.
A medida de que pasan los días, las horas van limando las partes mas puntiagudas del dolor haciéndolo más llevadero, sigue ahí dentro pero ya no lástima ni pesa como al principio. Las nubes oscuras siguen presentes pero ya se ve un poco de luz.
Contemplas la idea de que el mensaje o llamada de esa persona puede nunca llegar y haces las pases con esa posibilidad. Si extrañas, pero ya no necesitas su presencia para vivir.
Intentas ser honestx contigo, aunque a veces te dejas llevar por el enojo y la sed de olvido. Ya no te extraño, ya no te quiero -te dices-, pero cuando escuchas su canción o algo te recuerda su imagen te das cuenta que aún vive en ti, irónicamente cuando abandonas el deseo de olvidar, es cuando ya has olvidado.
La idea de una vida sin esa persona ahora es una realidad y no parece ser tan malo. Vuelves a apreciar las pequeñas cosas, la compañía de las personas y de vez en cuando viene a ti la ilusión de conocer a alguien, después de todo mereces ser feliz.
Hace tiempo sólo pensabas y te dedicabas a esa persona, ahora pasas más tiempo contigo y piensas en ti.
Te das cuenta que no es un ser perfecto como una vez lo creíste, el sol brilla cada vez con más fuerza y exhibe sus defectos, ya no estás tan convencidx de querer volver, al fin y al cabo es la persona a la que le diste todo y te pagó con dejarte, ¿se supone que tengo que cambiar para que vuelvas? Parece que lo más justo es dejarlx en el pasado.
Sabes que es momento de cambiar, ser mejor persona e ir por tus sueños ¿dejar pasar tu vida por alguien que se fue? No lo creo. Dejas fluir y que esa persona siga su camino y sea feliz, ahora es momento de recorrer tu camino y después de todo este tiempo volver a sonreír.
Después de todo te das cuenta que el amor no te falló, esa persona fue la que falló, no estuvo a la altura, le falto valor, no era amor, no te merece, ya le lloraste lo suficiente y no vale la pena derramar una lágrima más.
La vida no te arrebato a esa persona para herirte sino para darte la oportunidad de ser feliz.
Es la oportunidad para ser tu mejor versión, iniciar nuevos proyectos, hacer ejercicio, conocer nuevas personas, en este punto casi estamos del otro lado, es importante seguir enfocados para no recaer.
El final
La vida te sonríe pues ahora le sonríes de vuelta, aprendiste más de ti y maduraste, el pasado quedó en el pasado donde merece estar.
Su imagen aparece de vez en cuando, pero ya no maneja tu vida. No te mató, te hizo más fuerte.
En esta etapa ya estas más enfocadx en tus proyectos y metas, ya no te importa saber que hace o deja de hacer la otra persona, estas abiertx a conocer y salir con nuevas personas con la mente y el corazón abiertos, te das cuenta que lo más importante es quererse a unx mismx, las personas van y vienen, pero a nosotrxs siempre nos tenemos.
También puedes visitar la entrada de las Etapas del duelo amoroso despues de una relación
Jesse B
Cosasdespuesdelamor
¿Qué pasa después de terminar una relación larga?
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