Perdonar no significa olvidar

Perdonar no significa olvidar

Perdonar no significa olvidar. A menudo pensamos que perdonar implica que tenemos que olvidar la acción o palabras que otra persona hizo con la intención o sin intención de lastimarnos. No hablo de situaciones banales, sino de una acción que realmente nos lastimó.

La definición de perdonar es: Olvidar la falta que ha cometido una persona contra ella o contra otros y no guardarle rencor ni castigarle por ella.

La parte de «olvidar» es lo que complica la acción de perdonar, pues como lo escribí en la entrada de NO SE TRATA DE OLVIDAR A TU EX, SINO DE SUPERAR A TU EX, no es posible olvidar una situación que nos ha lastimado. Creo que la definición de perdonar va más allá.

Perdonar para mí es: No guardar rencor ni buscar venganza hacia una persona que nos dañó, no significa olvidar, perdonamos no para estar bien con la otra persona, sino para estar bien con nosotr@s, para no guardar rencor y sanar la herida. Es un acto de amor propio, pues de otra forma el resentimiento evitará que superemos este capítulo de nuestra vida y la única persona afectada seremos nosotr@s.

Perdonar NO es ponernos una venda sobre los ojos

El hecho de perdonar no quiere decir que vamos a pasar por alto el hecho, hay actos malintencionados que otra persona realiza con afán de lastimarnos, obviamente no queremos a una persona así cerca de nosotr@s. Lo ideal es perdonar y evitar a esta persona en nuestra vida.

Igualmente si alguien es inconsciente en sus acciones (como una infidelidad) que no lo hizo con la intención de herirnos («fue algo insignificante, fue un error, lo hice sin pensar»), la decisión de seguir con esa persona no tiene que ver con perdonarla. Podemos perdonar y terminar la relación.

Recuerda que perdonar no quiere decir que aceptaste la falta, que la olvidaste o que vas a hacer como si nunca pasó. Simplemente decidiste superar ese momento de tu vida.

Perdonarme a mí misma, a mí mismo.

Aquí es la única situación donde el perdón es sinónimo de hacer las pases con nosotr@s, ya que no podemos separarnos de uno mísmo . Nos perdonamos y recordamos nuestra falta para evitar volverla a cometer.

No cargues con frases como «nunca me lo voy a perdonar» este tipo de sentimientos pesan y mientras más pasa el tiempo más difíciles son de sobrellevar. Son una piedra en el camino que no nos deja seguir avanzando, no evitan crecer y nos anclan a una etapa que quedó en el pasado.

Perdónate, date la oportunidad de sanar, resarcir el daño y superarte.

Jesse B
Cosasdespuesdelamor
instagram logo—->

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